Sweet pangs of love

This world is so uncertain and unpredictable except for my love towards you. I cherish my moments with you, and i don't know how long i have to be separated from you to have those moments back. I think so much about you, but when i see you, i become frozen...so many thoughts, so many ideas and so many ways of expressing my love towards you, but i see you and i become nervous...i don't know how to convey my love for you. i just become nervous and i cannot profess how much i love you...it was easier if my thoughts were just sent in a telepathic way so that you could fathom the richness and diversity of my feelings towards you. However, those things don't exist yet and hence i continue to appear to you as a cold hearted one...What can i say? I've never been one of those who would grab a chance and run with it. Instead, i'm delegated to the sidelines where i usually ponder and wonder on how things could have been.

Still, i admire the love you shower towards me without even the slightest chance of reciprocal. How do you do that? Is that what love is meant to be? To shower your affection without expecting anything in return? If so, why am i still not able to break all the shackles? Why am i still helpless? Why cannot i break all the shackles i have created around myself and run towards you with my arms open? Ah, the misery of being a conformist.

I wonder if you spend as much time as i do about thinking of the things that happened between us? I wonder if you think about me all the time or only when i pass by you? I wonder if you take all of those little, inconsequential moments and have a mental replay, wondering about how i could have seized the chance and made them better? I spend a lot of time thinking, replaying and improvising for all the moments that passed by, for the moments that are passing by and for the moments that would eventually pass by. Ah, i wish i could have been different and actually be one of those guys who excel in these situations...those who can charm anyone straight away and those whose very presence lightens up the room.

Time is so cruel, isn't it? It catches me by surprise and flies away when i'm next to you. However, it comes to a standstill when i'm away from you, there by not sparing the misery of knowing my follies. Ah, the sweet pangs of love? The pain it induces, the misery it causes and the salvation it gives...I know it hurts, but i would rather be hurt by love than be away from it...