Anyways, after a little distraction, i want to get back to my main topic which i had in mind to write this blog: what was i like when i was 17 years old and what has changed? Almost nearing thirty, it is closer to impossible to write what i used to feel like, but i will give a shot anyway. I remember clearly that i read autobiography of a yogi and that book inspired me to dream of the gorgeous himalayas, lotus legged postures, intense meditation sessions, guidance of a wonderful guru....i remember the summer of 96, after my first year exams, i had read this book...in the following year, i remember reading sai charitra, datta charitra and some devotional books along the way...I was still bothered about my exams, acing them, getting into engineering, but that was ephemeral...most of the time, my mind was on spiritual things...the long rides on my bicycle to temples, my childish attempts at meditation, my chats with friends, late night studies, i miss most of it..the most important part of life was not lost in constant planning, scheming and worrying...may be thats why they say, life is pleasant when u have no responsibilities, no money and no one to care for...
I have to admit that those days cannot be gained back and any attempts to get them back would be absolute foolishness...After all, who wants to see a grown up man pretending to be a college kid? may be aamir can pull it off, but not me :-)...So, the best alternative i have to see whether parts of those life like taking life in stride, living for today and not tomorrow, believing in divine providence can be something to start with...
Finally, i get the feeling that may be i'm one of those few people who are blessed in living in past and future, but ignoring the present? is that good? is that bad? who cares about what you think? I don't live in the present anyways
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