crucial week

This week is going to be crucial for me...mere jeevan ki nayya kis taraf mud raha hai, woh pata chalega....interesting isnt it? we dont feel contended with what we have, we go and destroy everything that we carefully built and then we realize what we have done and then we again try to get busy building everything back...of course, it is not going to be the same, but the hope is that we will end up with something better than what we destroyed...life is weird and we have to just accept the fact...there is no point in thinking of why did we destroy this or why did god make us do this? i tried that and ended up with no convicing argument...in fact, there is no point in thinking over things...if i use logic as my main tool, then i will end up hating GOD and his creation...if you don't believe me, open a news paper and read those horrible events that seem to happen every day to seemingly innocent people....Logic also will make me statistically that in the suffering distribution across the world, i'm negligible spectrum...what chance do i have to complain when there are people who are suffering with terminal diseases, fighting for basic nessesities of life? Hence, the conclusion that let us get not all logical about this...Besides, it feels good to think of a "personalized" god (aka slave) whose job is to just listen to my crooning, give me comfort and make me feel like i'm special (even when i'm not) and that this all suffering is some karmic thing to make me teach something or make me rise above and beyond mundaneness.

I'm going to not delve deeper now, but just comment that this week is going to be ultra crucial and that hopefully the uncertainity that is plaguing me now will vanish and vaporize and that i will rise from the ashes with full vigor and optimism...

Amen!