My nervousness doesnt seem to subside afterall...yesterday was even worse as it dawned onto me that i literally had all my eggs in one basket...i didnt know how things will pan out and simply saying that it will be alright is not going to solve issues..Anyways, i was all worried and confused and after a very long time decided to go to crossroads by walk..I reachhed there and was wandering, trying desperately to answer within myself some behavioral interview questions and also by just walking, keeping myself on the move...And when i finally decided to head towards home, i realized that it was raining cats and dogs outside...in my overzealousness, i walked to the mall and realized that i was stuck...after being there for a while, i realized that my nerves were at it again and i decided i had enough...i saw the rain one last time (which was pretty heavy) and said to myself that...SO BE IT...if drenching is written in my fate, let me face it...what is the point in nervously walking across the mall and fearing the impending rain, which is going to happen anyways? I decided, let me just go out and get myself WET...I sent out a prayer to GOD and decided to come out of the mall from the other end...i was saying GOD's name within myself and then when i decided to come out, lo! i saw that the rain has subsided and the clouds have cleared off...At that moment, a little feeling of calmness crept over me..I felt thankful to the almighty for avoiding me getting completely drenched in rain and also realized that sometimes, you have to just do things instead of fearing for the consequences...I know, I know...it is hard to conquer the fear, but the way i see it, it is better to fight with the fear than avoid it completely..
As i learnt today, The fear of getting drenched in the rain was infinitesimally higher than actually getting drenched in the rain...
Amen!
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Monday, March 29, 2010
Nervous
Right now my mental state is very nervous...I dont know why though? Is it because i have so less time to prepare or is it because i have no clue on the format of this interview? I have no idea, i do know that my mind is not co-operating at all. I sit down and when i open the book or read some material, my mind wanders off..I'm struggling to even get an one hour of focus...Contract this to my earlier sojourns, notably my preparation for MS full time and internship interviews, where i had to prepare like months just to take a shot...Does this mean that my hunger has gone down? I'm not sure about the hunger part...I do acknowledge that this is a near DO OR DIE situation,but somehow, i'm unable to motivate myself for preparation...I'm reading a bit, I'm making myself prepare, but somehow, woh wali baat nahi...
Will this make a difference? Only time will answer...
Omsairam!
Will this make a difference? Only time will answer...
Omsairam!
Sunday, March 14, 2010
A dads poem
A LETTER TO MY SON
NO words can praise thy sublime rise
You sprang indeed a pleasant surprise
A due reward for your sincere ways
You proved ,my son, that smart work pays.
Star of our family, You do attain
With this star status redoubled shine
A sense of thrill with joyous pride
Pervades my heart—I can not hide!
Be ever happy; act with prudence
Be neither jealous nor be tense
No ups and downs should shake your soul
Have faith and patience, pursue your goal.
Rise higher and higher like a star
Sky is the limit—no stumbling bar—
True worship is hard work—be cool and wise
True contentment in our duty lies.
I wish you laurels more and more
Thank God to pour His generous store
Of blessings on thee, I humbly pray
Progress knows no dead end; create new ways.
NO words can praise thy sublime rise
You sprang indeed a pleasant surprise
A due reward for your sincere ways
You proved ,my son, that smart work pays.
Star of our family, You do attain
With this star status redoubled shine
A sense of thrill with joyous pride
Pervades my heart—I can not hide!
Be ever happy; act with prudence
Be neither jealous nor be tense
No ups and downs should shake your soul
Have faith and patience, pursue your goal.
Rise higher and higher like a star
Sky is the limit—no stumbling bar—
True worship is hard work—be cool and wise
True contentment in our duty lies.
I wish you laurels more and more
Thank God to pour His generous store
Of blessings on thee, I humbly pray
Progress knows no dead end; create new ways.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Blessings
Typically, whenever we start a new thing it is our custom to take the blessings of the LORD. I want to take the blessings of the lord today here in this blog post.
It has been almost 2 years, when i stand at the same place where i stood back then. I have a decision to make and as it always happens, there is a road of comprimise and road of familiarity as well as there is a road of exploration and a road of unfamiliarity...There is more at stake since this involves my career and can i afford to try something NEW. Also, there lies the small matter of PROMOTION and with the decisions i make, it might easily take another year and half to get to that. So, if PROMOTION is important to me, i need to stay calm and wait...however, promotion also means that the things i want to do and the skills i want to acquire will become harder to accomplish...In the end it comes to a decision of what matters to me the MOST? At this point, for me, LEARNING is more important and this means that i need to go down the unfamiliarity path.
Of course, all this said, i believe in DESTINY, FATE and GOD. I believe that my SADGURU helps me make the right decisions and if i'm at this juncture, i strongly believe that he is the ONE who brought me here. Last time i was at this juncture, i decided to take the high road and do something different. Regardless of the consequences, my confidence went up as i took a different responsibility and did exceedingly well. This time the stakes are high, what with all the PROMO and so on, but again, my INNER voice tells me to gear myself up for the challenge.
So, almighty, i'm taking this crucial decision and i want your help. I want you to guide me to do things that will make me better, make me stronger and develop faith in myself and in YOU. I invoke lord ganesha to eliminate the obstacles in my path and help me overcome them. I invoke goddess saraswathi to help me prepare well, to guide me and to enlighten me. I invoke murugan to give me the courage to face the obstacles and to not lose my sleep over them. I invoke my guru, sainath to be with me and to have faith (and patience) in his divine judgement. I want to get the blessings of my parents and ancestors who have given me good education, proper values and above all the freedom to write my own destiny.
Omsairam, i'm taking the first step in my new journey and i want you to be with me.
No matter, what happens, GOD has made do this for my betterment.
Amen!
It has been almost 2 years, when i stand at the same place where i stood back then. I have a decision to make and as it always happens, there is a road of comprimise and road of familiarity as well as there is a road of exploration and a road of unfamiliarity...There is more at stake since this involves my career and can i afford to try something NEW. Also, there lies the small matter of PROMOTION and with the decisions i make, it might easily take another year and half to get to that. So, if PROMOTION is important to me, i need to stay calm and wait...however, promotion also means that the things i want to do and the skills i want to acquire will become harder to accomplish...In the end it comes to a decision of what matters to me the MOST? At this point, for me, LEARNING is more important and this means that i need to go down the unfamiliarity path.
Of course, all this said, i believe in DESTINY, FATE and GOD. I believe that my SADGURU helps me make the right decisions and if i'm at this juncture, i strongly believe that he is the ONE who brought me here. Last time i was at this juncture, i decided to take the high road and do something different. Regardless of the consequences, my confidence went up as i took a different responsibility and did exceedingly well. This time the stakes are high, what with all the PROMO and so on, but again, my INNER voice tells me to gear myself up for the challenge.
So, almighty, i'm taking this crucial decision and i want your help. I want you to guide me to do things that will make me better, make me stronger and develop faith in myself and in YOU. I invoke lord ganesha to eliminate the obstacles in my path and help me overcome them. I invoke goddess saraswathi to help me prepare well, to guide me and to enlighten me. I invoke murugan to give me the courage to face the obstacles and to not lose my sleep over them. I invoke my guru, sainath to be with me and to have faith (and patience) in his divine judgement. I want to get the blessings of my parents and ancestors who have given me good education, proper values and above all the freedom to write my own destiny.
Omsairam, i'm taking the first step in my new journey and i want you to be with me.
No matter, what happens, GOD has made do this for my betterment.
Amen!
Monday, March 1, 2010
calm before the storm?
Friday was a bad day...both for the ego and for the spiritual self..my promotion has been delayed for another 6 months and on top of that i was made to not do certain things that i wanted to do. Starry tatrums, eh? But thats what u got with people having drive, passion and ambition. Anyways, i was almost in tears before i came home and then tried several ways to console myself..tried to reason with my mind, tried to reason with my heart and so on, but these things seem to come and go...the worst part was that i seemed to be in no control...a promotion starving employee and at this time of the year is too easy for the management to handle...they know he won't be pulling up any tricks and nor does he have any aces up his sleve...people know basically that he would wait till september until he gets his promo and then jumps of the ship...That part of me to keep quiet and then jump off doesn;t resonate well to me...i cannot do that, possibly cannot and thats what makes it tough for me...
Anyways, i decided to wait for one full week before charting out the future course of action. I also decided to another parayana as well and hopefully, the idea is to get to read sadcharitra atleast 2 chapters a DAY TO ruminate on what it says and may be then my stupid brain can understand the importance of life and not the races we create in our own mind...
As i mentioned, i happened to stumble upon an article in times of india today and it was about how we can use the workplace for our spiritual benefit as well..you know, not just make decisions by leaving out human factor outside, but rather include it as well...so, after reading that, i realized, it is probably ok, if i don't get a promotion and it is ok if i don;t get a hefty pay rise and a fat pay check, but the crucial thing for me is to keep my goal as to raise my work standards and my skill set. Now, i'm flipping this inside out and going to focus on career development and see on what i can learn not on how fast can i learn? Remember, prerajulization and farhanitrate in 3-idiots :-)
Senior or no senior, contentment and self improvement is far more important and thats what i shall focus upon...
Mercy, o almighty, let this new found wisdom stay with me!!!
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