The crucifixion (part 1)

People of jerusalem shouted the roman chancellor. He had no other go but to stomp his authority on the massively turned out croud through his vocal chords and nothing else. The massive crowd which was busy in discussing rumors and talking mundane things suddenly turned out silent. The crowd is good at anticipating important events and today was no different. They were not sure if they could change it, so they decided to take the next best course, which was to witness it. The roman chancellor was nervous himself, but he tried his best to hide that through his sullen face. He quietly observed the crowd since silence creates tension and fear in the room, and he knew that if there was one day where the romans needed to induce the fear in these lowly jews, it was today. Not that the jews were not afraid of romans any other day, but today he needed it more than ever, since it would make or break his career in rome. Jerusalem was by no means a reward for someone's capabilities, but it was more of a punishment zone and he certainly didn't want to live in this scum of a place when he could nicely be settling down in the finesse of rome.

Chancellor was not a bad man. He was a fine, learned gentleman and he was simply following the norms of the society in which he was brought up. Every culture on this planet tries to put down other cultures and nations more than it tries to put its own culture up. Romans were no different and hence they were taught that they were the 'civilized' ones and the rest were barbarians. They were also taught that roman were born to rule the world and show it the right way whereas others were there to 'serve' them. Chancellor also was brought up with this feelings and even if he had other ideas, what could he do? He was not the emperor of rome to reform and hence he decided not to trouble himself much with the questions of morality. But, no matter, how hard he tried, his conscience was troubling him about the decision he had to make today. How could he possibly kill this jew for no apparent reason? Not that the chancellor had never ordered jews to be killed, but somehow, this one guy was different. He did not see fear in his eyes when the words 'kill him' were uttered. He did not see the anger or the loud, pompous words that were uttered by the revolutionaries who were caught for treason. Instead, he saw contentment and peace in his eyes. He stood there standing with no slight movement as if he knew that it was bound to happen. He paid no attention to what others were saying about him as well as paid no attention to who were saying it. He did not show the slightest hint that he was afraid of death. This troubled the chancellor as he had never come across such a man, not even in rome. Besides, there was a crazy cult that followed him and believed him to be their messiah, their delivery boy who will free them from the clutches of the evil empire and make them rule all over the world. The chancellor had heard so many crazy stories in his rich life as well as in his sojourns around the world, but this topped the list. The jews who had no military stratagem were destined to conquer the mighty, roman army with this crazy messiah as their lead. Nah, this is some crazy talk inspired by these village folks was the general impression of the chancellor. However, he knew that this man was no simple human being and whether he would conquer rome or not, he would definitely bring an upraising against the jewish authorities who were suppressing their own people and were full of corruption. He very well knew that it was the main reason for them trying to get rid of him. However, he was not sure of why he couldn't just use that as a pretext for killing him. Something told him to stay away from this and let the man be freed so that he can choose his own destiny, but he hesitated. Could the jews use this as a tactic to fire up the revolution and cause trouble? He surely didn't want to invite trouble when he was thinking of impressing the authorities and going back to rome. This thought settled in the chancellor's mind and drove out all the other pious thoughts the chancellor's mind was brewing at that time. Besides, it was the jewish mess and let them deal with it, was the thought that the chancellor's mind conviniently settled upon. 

"People of jerusalem", the chancellor shouted again. He looked at them intently and started speaking out slowly. "Rome respects your individuality and your own religious sentiments." he shouted. "Hence, we decided to let you decided to let you choose for yourself which prisoner you want to release on this auspicious day".As he said this, the soldiers brought forward two people chained in iron completely in front of the crowd. The chancellor was a wise, learned man and could hardly be considered naive, but his facial expressions were completely changed for when he saw the reaction to the prisoners arrival. On one hand, there was this notorious criminal who looted the jews and on the other was this preacher who wanted to reform this religion to make it more accessible to commoners. However, the so called commoners were not very supportive of this reformer or the messiah and were booing him big time. The chancellor recovered from his initial set back and he saw that the chances of the messiah being freed upon have hit a new low. He addressed the people saying that on one hand he had a notorious criminal who terrorized jerusalem and on the other he had this person called jesus of nazareth who didn't appear to be very sane and was awarded crucifixion as a punishment.He said it was upto the people to decide whom they want to be freed and to whom the punishment should be awarded. The people didn't hesitate for a moment to say barabas, barabas and there were a loud wave of protests against jesus and shouts for crucify him, stone him to death were going up. A few of the vociferous ones threw stones at him and some of them hit him hard. Blood started flowing down at which point the chancellor decided to speak to the crowd. He realized the irony of situation where he, a roman was trying to defend the culprit who claimed to be the son of god and was above the roman emperor himself. He tried to calm down the people by raising his hands, but they were in no mood and hence he decided to stomp his authority by shouting at them again. He shouted saying, " this jesus of nazareth may be guilty of violating the roman authority but a punishment of crucifixion sounds too severe." However, the people shouted back saying, "he deserves this, he deserves this". The chancellor remarked that the romans  would not be held accountable for this and the people retorted by saying that let his blood be on us and our future generations. At this point, the chancellor felt it was a futile attempt to talk to these people. He somehow felt very sad at his own helplessness and motioned the soldiers to take the prisoners away. He could see amusement in barabas eyes about how he was saved from a certain death and looked away from jesus since he felt there was some unexplainable calmness in his eyes. The chancellor himself decided to walk back and each of his steps from that place back to his residence were heavy and shook his heart.

Meanwhile, the soldiers who were awaiting this very opportunity took their heart content in dragging jesus away and gave him an earful of their choicest abuses and mockery. Jesus meanwhile was looking like the evening sky with blood stains all over his body. However, something told that it was nothing when compared to the torture that awaits him later in the day. The crowd were still shouting with anger and jerusalem was waiting as a rabid blood hound ready to pounce on its prey. Of course, not all of jerusalem was bursting with joy, there were a very few whose heart were bleeding, out of love, out of affection, out of shame and out of guilt.

(P.S: I will try to write the next part in the following week describing one of the most definitive events in modern history...this is only possible if Christ be willing)

Amen!

Waking up on the day of kurushetra war (arjun)

(Another post which follows the pattern of fateful dusheera.)

The cock crowed and my eyes opened at their sound. I didn't sleep well the previous night and i was tossing around imagining how it is going to be today. Will i survive the day or will my beloved survive today was the question hovering in my mind? It is not like we didn't fight wars before or that we didn't face mighty armies, but the bitterness and the passion associated with this war is huge and that scares me. Kaurava's are a mighty army and even though we defeated them several times, facing them in a war puts this in a different ball game all together. I need to practice for some time and saying so, i got up.

I picked up my bow and arrows and went to the practice area. I strung my bow and my ears were awaiting the soothing sound of an arrow leaving a bow. People might assume that i was naturally born to be an archer, but it was not always like this. I was not good to begin with, but guidance of my guru deva and several hundreds of hours of practice brought me to this level. But, history will comfortably forget these long, boring hours or condense them comfortably to give an illusion that it was my natural talent that made things happen magically. Focus, focus i repeatedly said to myself as i saw some arrows miss their target. I was a bit disappointed by this and tried to focus harder. However, things were going down hill and my memory failed me as i couldn't remember some vedic chants associated with the astras conferred to me by the devatas. I felt a little anxious as a lot seems to ride upon me in this war. My brothers count on me big time and i should deliver the goods. Without me, the kauravas will doubly rejoice and try to crush our army. Pitamaha and gurudev might go easy on us, but duryodhan and karan will show no such mercy. Karan will definitely try to slay me and to prove to the world that he is the best archer. Of course, i cannot blame him, because i would do the same if i were him and even now i will not spare him, even if i spare the rest of the kaurava army. Why do i hate him so much? Is it because i'm trying to reciprocate his hatred for me or is it because i believe somewhere deep within my heart that he is a better archer than me? I have defeated him easily in our previous encounters, but this war is as much a litmus test to him as it is to me to prove our capabilities.

I decided there was no point in further practice because of my wavering mind. I decided to come out of my camp to take a walk and just calm myself. As i came out, i saw soldiers getting ready, servants tending out to their masters, horses being fed, elephants being bathed and everyone being busy. None seems to understand the magnitude of this war that has befallen upon us, or perhaps trying to ignore their thoughts. As i walked by, i saw many people respectfully saluting to me and slowly whispering to each other. I slowly passed by the tents of my brothers, but i wasn't in a mood to talk to them. I knew they would also be in the same mood as iam right now. I moved on and saw krishna's tent. I felt a wave of peace come over me as i tried to imagine on what he would be doing right now? Would he be playing with his flute or would he be eating butter or would he be like the rest of us worrying about it? But krishna will not suffer like us, i know. He is the almighty and i'm sure he would be the only person among both the camps who would be in a state of total, ah i cannot describe it. It won't be happiness, it won't be sadness and it is not dryness, it is that state where he knows everything and still being unaware. It is contradictory i know, but how else can i describe him? I'm sure at this very moment he can answer me about who will win the war and who will survive, but yet he isn't worried about that. He somehow manages to push those end results to the back of the mind and live like a normal human being. I know, i know, my talk doesn't make much sense, but words cannot accurately describe everything and i'm not a poet...besides, words do not do justice to him..These thoughts made me loose track of time and i'm almost at the end of the pandava camp. I paused for a while to see the morning sun and i could see the kaurava army camp from the place i was standing.

The hastinapura flag was waving to the chilly morning air and a sense of nostalgia gripped over me. My ancestors must have proudly saluted to that flag, carried that over on their shoulders and would have experienced a sense of euphoria on seeing that flag waving high in the air. But, none of them would have imagined that there would be a day when their own kinsmen would fight amidst themselves and that the flag would be pulled by one of their descendants..I would be anyone on this wretched day but pitamaha. I could even be duryodhan for that matter but not pitamaha. Ah, a man dedicates his entire life for a cause and at the end sees that the cause will no longer exist due to the stupidity of his own men. My fate is not far from him, though. All the people i hold close to my heart are on my opposite side, except for krishna. Even krishna being on my side was a miracle. If duryodhan had made the right choice, he would have chosen krishna.If my dearest step brother had that knack, we would have not been here fighting each other. He would have happily accepted the proposal put forward by krishna and would have gladly given us the five villages. I would have been glad to live in a village peacefully with my brothers, family and krishna than to come here and face my own kinsmen. who knows? may be pitamaha, gurudeva and the rest would have been happier to come to us than stay in the company of duryodhan, karan and that cunning shakuni. Let them enjoy their riches, but i would have had a contentment which is above that. Of course, historians would depict the pandavas as cowards who didn't follow the kshatriya dharma and who didn't protect the dharm, but who cares about them? Even if we win this war, the same historians would project us as blood thirsty war mongers who couldn't resist the vulgarity of the riches and went after slaughtering their own kith and kin mercilessly just so that they can sit on the throne. Again, who will tell the wailing women and their children that their husbands, brothers and fathers were killed so that pandavas could protect the dharma? besides, what is dharma? Shouldn't dharma be protected by some powers which are beyond us? Shouldn't it be protected by krishna or shiva or the gods to whom we offer our prayers? Perhaps, they should stand up for dharma and leave mortals like us to not have to make that choice? I'm sure krishna could have killed duryodhan in a split of a second and brought this war to an end without any bloodshed. But, he chose not to do so, and instead decided to cast us into this game to see how we would perform? Why? why make things so complicated when there are simple solutions? Krishna, why do you torment us so much? You stand next to us, you offer our shoulders when we cry, you wipe our tears, you stand by us as others insult us, but why do you let this happen in the first place? Couldn't you who knew everything warn my brother about the evil schemes of kauravas? Couldn't you stop my brother from pawning off everything in the dice game? Couldn't you stop duryodhan from insulting us? You were a bystander all along. Even now, you are a bystander. You detest war and you go to the kaurava camp to stop this war. You stoop down in front of kauravas and you even offer them that we will accept only 5 villages? But, you still egg us on to go to the war? What good would be those five villages? Why cannot we just leave duryodhan and walk away saying, oh, duryodhan, you win...we are afraid of you and we cannot fight you, we will leave the place and go somewhere else. We are strong and we can survive, as we did for the last thirteen years. If my brother really wants to be a king, i'm sure we can do that somewhere else.

Alas, this is easier to say than to do. It will require a lot of courage to do something like this. Perhaps, history might make me a caricature for even thinking like this. What would they say?

"The great arjuna who single handedly defeated many vast armies saw his brothers and relatives on the other side and decided to renunciate his dharma and became a coward. Arjuna, the great grand son of bheeshma, the beloved disciple of dronacharya, the busom friend of krishna and above all the warrior who fought lord shiva himself ran away from dharma when his own people transgressed and there upon brought shame upon everyone who knew him and were friends to him".

Should i let this happen? No! I'll will not. As a warrior, it has been my birth right to fight and so i have done uptil now. My destiny has been to live and breathe in this battle field and so it shall be. I;m an archer and my duty is to fight. I will emulate my bow and arrow who do not question about why they are being used, on whom they are being used. They trust their archer and follow his will. So, shall i follow, the will of lord and my god, krishna. With him on my side and charioteering my rath, why should i worry about things that i cannot fathom?  I hear the sound for warriors to get ready. I better hurry and get ready.

Jai krishna!

(P.S: I want to right sometime about bhagawad geeta, but i need to read it, assimilate it for a while...it is way too much for me to comprehend, let alone blog upon...until then i will try to write about something else)...